QUESTIONS

Where am i going? Why am i going wherever i am going? Why do i not know? Am i supposed to know? Can i know? The questions go on. There is no end. I keep questioning, even without knowing if there IS an answer. Why am i here? Do i want to be here? Do i like my life only because i feel it would be ungrateful not to? How can i know? It just feels like confusion to me. Is there really a reason why i should even try to fight the confusion? Is there a reason to be confused? Yeah, life is weird. It doesn’t make sense sometimes. Or well, most of the time. But, is it not supposed to be that way? Would it not be boring if it did make sense? If there weren’t so many goddamn questions?! I dont know. I dont know if i should know. All i know is that possibly i can know is that i dont know. Do i know what i know. Probably not. Shouldn’t i answer? Probably not. Do i know? No. No?

WHAT IS TRUE?

We keep debating if our thoughts, ideas, and beliefs are real or not. But, sometimes I wonder if they need to be. If you simply believe in something, even if it isn’t true, doesn’t it become true for you, in your reality? For instance, you believe that there is a God and the thought makes you happy. Even if God doesn’t exist, the happiness you experienced is still very much true. Or the despair felt at the moment when you start believing that all life is meaningless. These ideas, even if they are wrong, do they not still excite real emotions and so become real for at least that person’s reality. This of course brings up the whole idea of if everyone has a different reality, which I think they do (I will write another blog on that later.) but, that is still beside the point. What i am wondering is if things have to be really truly true in a factual sense for them to be “true” or is just your perception of that as true enough? Is a person with schizophrenia necessarily wrong? Do truths have to be universal for them to be true???

ISOLATION

Have u ever felt completely totally disconnected from the world? In a place where only you exist. Sure, there are people all around you. Talking to you, laughing with you, but somehow you are still completely alone. Words are meaningless. So, are the relationships. Every man is an island unto himself. There are no connections. There are just random simulations of friendships, love, hatred, jealousy. There is no rationale. There is no reason for there to be.
We create the connections. We want life to make sense. We want it all to be true. But, have you ever been forced to consider the possibility that it might just all be because you want to believe there is?
If everything is created by us, and nothing is really true. If all our concepts of emotions, relationships, logic aren’t. Then, would life become meaningless? Or will it simply acquire the meaning that you give it? And most importantly, even if it’s all just something we thought up, could it not be that it is true, just because we believe it to be.